TA Assignments!

Quick note: Going on vacation with family to go visit family over the holidays, so updates will be pretty sporadic.

I will be TAing ochem lab twice a week...starting at 8am. Great. This means that I'll have to get to school at 7 am M-F due to classes and TAing. Which is sort of irritating because I was hoping to start running in the morning again.

Eh, oh well. I am excited/nervous about TAing ochem lab again. I did it for three semesters in undergrad somewhat successfully, but this will be different.

Any TAing tips?

Hobbies outside of research.

I've mentioned many times before that I am a runner. Never really did track or cross country, but I've been running off and on for most of my life. About a year and a half ago, I decided to run with the goal of running a half marathon in mind.

Well, I have my first half marathon in a little over a month, and I am so excited. And nervous.

Being grad students that have other things to do other than train non-stop, Running Buddy and I are somewhat prepared. I did 9 miles on Saturday. I've never run 9 miles in my life. And I not only ran 9 miles, I ran 9 miles in the rain and up and down many, many hills. My dad (who has run the NYC marathon three times) thinks that if we both can complete two 10 miles runs before the race, we will be fine.

I am so thrilled that for once, instead of thinking about it, I am actually running a half!!!

And Running Buddy and I both agreed once we're both back in GSU-city, we're going to try and go back to consistent running, since our rotation schedules derailed us consistently running together.

Anyone have some advice on running or on carving out time in grad school for things like hobbies?

Man, if I hear this one more time...

If I hear one more person using "feminist" as an epithet, I may explode.

Home, home on the range.

After my meeting with my PI and my mentor on Friday, I quickly ran as fast as I possibly could to my apartment, bid farewell to my kitty (the roommates are taking care of him), and hopped on a plane back home. On advice from older grad students, I am making it entirely impossible for me to do any lab work by taking a *whole two and a half weeks* off. (All of the first year biochem and chem grad students in my program apparently do the same thing.)

Favorite quote from Friday meeting? My PI to me: "Five years from now, you'll remember this meeting."

Or potentially this quote: "I want us to do not just crystallography, but EPR, ENDOR, *lists some more* but I want us to be spectroscopists as well! I want us to do EVERYTHING!"

Uh ohhhhh.

Just kidding. Sorta. Only slightly nervous from these statements that promise lots and lots and lots of work for me and the 5th year grad student who will be gone in a year.

Therefore, my break so far: sleeping, eating, family, reading and paper reading galore. And some running---a little over a month until my first half marathon!

Joined a lab!

I have now officially joined a lab!

I'm very excited. Last Friday was the last day of my suck rotation, so I used it mostly for meeting with PI A and PI B since we're supposed to have a decision by today. After talking to both PIs, my fears about group B were dealt with, and so after thinking about it the entire weekend, this morning

I popped the "Will you be my adviser?" question to PI B and he said yes!

Apparently he was very nervous about the fact that he hadn't heard from me until this morning (according to the rest of the lab). However, I guess I'm off! I broke the news to PI A, who was very nice and took it pretty well and she still wants to be on my committee. But now I've gotten a lab notebook, made an appointment with PI B for talking about my project to be, and I'll be claiming a desk/bench space tomorrow before going to their "holiday lunch"!

Too bad PI C didn't actually show up for our "you've finished your rotation" talk this morning. Sigh. Oh well, we're talking tomorrow morning and then I'm doing with these rotation hoops! And now just for the finals...

Grad school dating fail.

Quick disclaimer: This is not about me. This is all about my wonderful Lab Soulmate who has had to deal with this for the past few months. I will post my own fun stuff in a few days.

Ok, so imagine you join a group. Yay! Woo! Group! You get along with most to all of the people. Very importantly, you get along with the guy you are sharing equipment and a hood with. Hoorah!

However, things start getting awkward fast. Being an attractive, smart, funny, single female, your coworker is interested. And makes his interest known. Multiple times. Despite you doing everything short of banging him over the head and yelling "WE SHARE A HOOD YOU MORON HOW BAD OF AN IDEA WOULD THAT BE?!?!" This other student is a third year student, who, despite everything else, is a nice guy and you do not want to make things ultra awkward and still would like to get along with this guy.

Unfortunately, he drunkenly asks to kiss you at a holiday party and you explain to him that this is a bad idea because: a) he's drunk and b) you share a hood. This goes over somewhat well in that he doesn't storm away and seems to realize that it's not OK to date you.

But how do you stop the awkward??? Dear readers, got any tips for Lab Soulmate? As we both figured so far, there's no real solution other than what she's done already. But maybe someone else out there who has some good ideas and/or has dealt with coworkers trying to romance you.

NSF completed!

Ok, the NSF was turned in Thursday, so that's done and over with. Probably not getting it, but it was a good experience and I look forward to the feedback. And hey, good experience for next year when I'll actually be part of a lab!

Finally caught my breath on life. Between everything that's been going on---new rotation (again), new people (again), fellowships, and training for my first half marathon that'll be in January---I feel like I haven't had time to breathe. (Let alone catch up on emails or blog.) Due to some last minute cancellations by profs, I only have one major assignment due next week, so this weekend will be filled with cleaning and prepping for Thanksgiving break.

Thank goodness.

Resurfacing.

It's been a pretty tough time as of lately. Life is ok. New rotation is sort of sucking, not just due to my personal life drama-yo-mama status.

My new boss has bitched out at least two graduate students and one undergrad in front of me (and the rest of his group). And there's no desk for me in the lab. And his students literally apologize and grovel over things that I think are stupid and inconsequential because he's such an ass about them. And he has been super passive aggressive towards me because he probably realizes that his lab is unlikely to be my first choice based on my research interests. Whatever.

The cool part of this rotation is that I am doing organic synthesis! For the first time in a research setting ever! (Yes, it does have bearing on my metalloprotein loving scientific heart.) I've done bits and pieces along the way of my undergraduate career, but not a whole lot otherwise. I'm enjoying it so far mostly because: a) the postdoc that's teaching me is very nice and keeps on telling me that I'm not as much of a n00b as I am and b) it's a very different way of doing research that's sort of relaxing to me in that you can control everything (as compared to my favorite biological systems) and come up with a good explanation as to why something's not working and c) because I'm a n00b I can't do anything by myself and so there isn't a lot for me to do each day.

I've definitely hit a dilemma with the choosing between Group A and Group B. Currently leaning towards Group B. Here's why:
Science: Group B (BUT it's a lot riskier/high reward than the Group A stuff)
Boss: Group B has more attention from boss which I liked in the few weeks I was there
People: Group A as friends, Group B as coworkers
Work Hours: Worked less in Group A, but Group B people are there on the weekend mornings or afternoons which is nice because I like going in on the weekends for a few hours

The general vibe/energy in Group B is appealing as well. I *loved* Group A, but I feel like I would always have to be ultra self motivated since my peers/boss wouldn't provide any external motivation.

Any other major points I should consider?

Today sucks.

Broke up with Boy today.

Wasn't happy in ldr anymore (neither was he), and Boy wouldn't have been happy with the lifestyle that I will have to lead---he'd move here, then move with me to postdoc, then possible second postdoc, and then hopefully faculty job.

But I want to travel, and I want to have someone with me who wants to travel.

Rotation 2 is done. But to be quite honest, I won't be ready to post for awhile since this next week will be insane.

About those posts that I've totally been making...

Dear readers:

Grad school is hard. It is very hard to think about actually writing the posts that I think up during my commute. This is my current to do list:

1. Clean up shitty mechanism on my hw for tomorrow.
2. Read papers for class tomorrow.
3. Finish transformation tonight (on a side note, Mol Bio, you and I have a little talking to do *shakes fist in rage*).
4. Work on fellowship stuff.
5. Email the 400000 people that I need to. I have become awful at emailing back anything that would take me longer than a sentence to answer.
6. Determine my feelings about Rotation 2. That will probably be the subject of this weekend's post.
7. Get groceries.
8. Go for run with running buddy.
9. Not keel over.

Rotations are rather brutal in that while everyone tells you that "you don't have to work hard because you aren't expected to get anything done," you want to: a) learn everything you possibly can and b) want the PI to *want* to take you in case they only have a few spots. My rotation in this lab...is almost done. I leave this lab on Nov. 5th. I feel very lucky that I don't have to TA right now. This, of course, will be changing next quarter.

Anyways, I am sorry for not updating more. I really like updating. But I also really like taking my few free moments and crashing in front of a movie with my friends. And lately, since I've been falling asleep in front of those movies, I think that's ok.

Love,
BotR

Rotation 2, week 1.

Summary of my week in one sentence: This is going to be a tricky decision between Group 1 and Group 2.

It's gone pretty well in the new rotation so far. I like the people, I love the metalloprotein, and the project is super cool. I miss the people from Group 1, but Group 2 people seem to be awesome in a different way.

I'm not saying that my third rotation lab won't be a possibility at all, but it's pretty unlikely just based on the research.

The thing that I've learned the most in this new lab? Rotations sorta suck in that the first week in a new lab is hell work-wise. I have all of my normal work + a 50 fold increase in papers/books I need to read on the metalloprotein, the techniques, etc.

Anyways, the parental units are here for the weekend, so I must be off to entertain them.

First month is officially over.

First month of real grad school (not just me researchin') is over. The classes and research balancing has been...fun. Yeah, fun. That's definitely the word I'm looking for.

Tomorrow's plans:
Wake up super early (I define "super early" as before 6. Don't judge). Clean room more. Get into lab. Pour gels/concentrate not purified protein. Go for run. Meet with adviser for next rotation. Check gel. Purify protein. Meet with current adviser. Purify protein more. Concentrate down proteins. Do first experiments to *hopefully* see super cool thing that I thought I'd try on the last week because I wanted to. Go for a beer with labmates that are sad to see me go. Probably do homework stuff for awhile. Go pick up former roommate at airport. Go home and clean up the stuff that I no doubt forgot. Make food for potluck for wedding reception that former roommate and I are going to on Saturday. Collapse, drool on self, and not get enough work done.

I am pumped to see former roommate. She's in her second year of grad school and therefore has the "dude, I know what you're going through and it'll be ok" attitude. And she's very excited to meet the cat.

Well, the making friends part has gone surprisingly well for me. Way less difficult than the beginning of college.

And running's been really nice---I get outside, I hangout with Running Buddy, and we just did an 8K.

Grad school's good, just tiring. I'm not sure how fellowships are supposed to fit into this mess of work. We have so much classwork/rotation based work as compared to the people in other chem divisions. They have to TA now instead though, so I can't complain. They just don't have as much classwork and aren't currently in labs (they pick next week).

Sorry, apparently too tired for a coherent, logical post today.

Last week of rotation one.

Well, it's a sad/happy/AHHHHHH sort of week. I'm excited to:
a) Not work under Fred anymore.
b) Go and work on the metalloprotein that made me fall in love with metalloproteins.
c) Meet new people.

I'm bummed to:
a) Leave the cool people in current lab.
b) Leave the cool metalloprotein I currently work on.
c) Leave the office that I work in. (I had my desk organized and everything.)
d) Not see our awesome collaborators in the physics department anymore.

I'm flipping out about:
a) The fact that I have been hardcore failing on getting work done on the Hertz/NSF apps.
b) The fact that I have to get used to new people again.
c) The fact that I'll have wombat status, but only vague wombat status because I've worked on this metalloprotein before.
d) That they haven't told us if our rotation choices were confirmed (my next lab was verbally agreed to).

Well, that's about it---and since I've had arguments with Fred about feminism all this past week, here's a piece that I really enjoyed.

Dealing with a frustrating mentor.

Lots of work, lots of lab, lots of fellowship stuff.

Running has helped with stress. But apparently, not enough.

I flipped out at my mentor on Friday. Like screaming at him. Essentially, I'm tired of him never taking responsibility for *his* actions and pinning it on me. Usually, it's never anything big. But it was sort of a straw that broke the camel's back moment. I yelled that I wasn't his mother or secretary at the top of my lungs, added a few curse words, and left the room to cool down. The really bad part was that it was in front of a few lab mates.

Luckily for me, my lab mates thought that it was a) deserved and b) funny (I got a few high fives). So even if I exploded, they don't think I'm psycho. Unfortunately for me, Fred thought it was also funny. He explained later that it was funny because I'm not a particularly intimidating woman (5'3" and 125 lbs doesn't really cut it) and that it would have not been ok if I was "a tall, muscle bound man." I did apologize, because I NEVER yell at anyone. EVER. But I'm still so angry with him because he makes these sexist comments just to needle me because I do react. And to be honest, I know that he's trolling me and just thinks it's funny when I get upset.

But I can't stop getting upset. Of the things that irritate me, sexist/racist/homophobic/etc. comments win. (Then it's inefficiency. But that's another blog post and a half.) And even though I know he's doing it *just* to piss me off, I can't control my horror/disgust/anger.

The biggest problem is that I both like him and hate him at the same time. I know he's actually a pretty good guy at heart, but he can't stop the bulls**t and I can't stop getting pissy. And he has been a good mentor in general. (In fact, I may be getting onto another paper. And I will admit, that while 75% of that is my own hard work, probably a good 25% is because of the fact that he's been setting me up for projects that might work/have a payoff rapidly and then fighting for me to be on the paper.)

Anyone have advice other than the pretty obvious "stop reacting to his trolling"? I'm really losing it here.

And the doom cloud gathers...

I've now realized how much work I have to do for classes along with rotation work...DOOM. Trying to find time to send Lab Mom the emails I need to about paper stuff is not easy.

Shiny star moment of the past few days: Crystals! Pretty crystals! :)

Also, anyone have any hints on applying for the NSF (or the Hertz)? I'm attempting to chip away at the application this week.

Woooooo!

Undergrad visit was successful (data-gathering wise). My papers should be submitted soon.

Awkwardness occurred due to current PI and my PI for my next rotation in that they fake fought over me. This is awkward. AWKWARD. Current PI keeps on making comments like "You need to work for me, not NextPI." Next PI keeps on making comments like "CurrentPI won't mind if you come work for me." I've decided this is only slightly funny, and mostly awkward. Especially since I haven't even worked for NextPI yet.

Classes started. Let's put it this way: AHHHH HOLY CRAP HOW CAN I BALANCE ALL OF THIS WORK WITH ROTATIONS AND FELLOWSHIP APPS. One of the classes will be simultaneously really cool and filled with so much work. The other 2.5 will be vaguely cool, but still filled with work. Ugh.

But drumroll please....

I'M ON MY FIRST GRAD SCHOOL PAPER!!!

Essentially, some side work I've been doing for one of our lab's collaborators on a different protein is now going to be published. I just found out yesterday, and I'm pumped. My mentor's now joked about "fastest grad school paper publication ever."

This means I'll probably have a publication (this paper's pretty cool and where we're submitting it to is probably going to accept it) and two submitted papers in time for my NSF. Yay! Best early birthday present ever.

Blast and hell.

It's hard to be mad at someone who is SO EXCITED to see you.

Yup, that's right---I'm in UndergradCity, doin' lab stuffs. Long day of GSULab, drive, and UndergradLab. Tomorrow I will be in my old lab in the wee hours of the morn and will likely be there until the late hours of the night. And then driving back to GSU in the wee hours of the morning.

Saw Lab Mom. She nearly ran into another car and parked possibly in the worst manner you can when there are 3 empty spots in front of you so she could jump out of the car to give me a hug. Yeah, my irritation disappeared pretttty much instantly. And then she bought lunch for me and the poor undergrad who is now in charge (and who is forced to put up with me for the next 24 hours so I can train her), so any last bits of anger faded when she showed me that she *actually* wrote up a manuscript (her "I'm totally writing up a paper" bit lasted for a year before I figured out that she was just using it to motivate me). In fact, she's written two manuscripts. And both have my name! My baby paper has me as second author after herself (she writes the whole thing/has some of her sabbatical experiments in the paper) and the other paper I'm sitting at third. Not bad.

And then she emphasized that she's prioritizing these experiments now. Which is nice to hear---I mean, it would have been a lot better if she prioritized it months ago. But at least she's prioritizing it now.

But yeah. She's even planning on trying to see me before I leave at 7 on Monday morning, asked about my life, and made me feel like she actually misses me in more than a "I wish I had you as my student still because you work ridiculously hard" sort of way.

This is why you need an "it's complicated" facebook-style status for your research advisers.

Lesson learned.

Don't go to grad school within 3 hours of your undergrad when your PI doesn't trust the people she has working for her.

Major points of the past few days:
1. Passed exams! :) I don't have to take any undergrad classes, but...
2. ...this means I have to take 3.5 grad classes in a 10 week period. I am officially staying in my summer lab for my first rotation, which is good.
3. During an orientation activity, I see my lab mom calling. I call her back, set up a time for today to talk about paper related stuff, and nervously wait for today's phone call.
4. We talk about all of my project related stuff. She tells me there are two manuscripts with my name on it. One of these is due to approximately one week's worth of stuff that I did. The other is due to my thesis: the two projects that are completely new techniques that I tried, troubleshot, and after lots of struggle and effort, got to work. As well as a technique that I perfected for our lab over the course of the year before. Of course, it's the second paper that's in trouble due to a few experimental controls.
5. We talk about who could do the experiments. Essentially, one of the people who I taught is very bright, but doesn't give a shit. She's been switched to a completely different project (hilariously, like I told Lab Mom to do) while the second person who is also very bright and definitely cares, wasn't taught that particular technique because Lab Mom wanted her to learn a different technique from me. (Again, ironically, I will be teaching her this technique this weekend.) The conversation goes like this:

Lab Mom: There really isn't anyone who has been taught this technique?

BOTR: Well, I taught Labmate1. But she's been switched to a different project. And Labmate2 doesn't know it. And it would probably take Labmate2 a few runs to get it down.

Lab Mom: Yeah, and I can't write anything after two weeks.

*awkward silence*

BOTR: Too bad I can't do the experiments.

Lab Mom: *laughs* You sure you can't?

*conversation continues, feeling of being trapped overwhelms BOTR, and she makes plans with Lab Mom to come back this weekend and do the experiments*

Lab Mom: You agree that my points are valid though, right? There won't be a paper unless those experiments are done.

BOTR: Yup.

Gahhhhh. I feel so irritated. If she'd prioritized this project with one of the summer students, they could have gotten it done. And she hasn't really kept in touch despite my frequent emails, and when she has, it's been pretty much all business. Which makes me sad. And I'm pretty sure it's a somewhat cultural thing/she's really freaking busy and that's fair. I just feel used. And I know this is good for both of us, but I know that she was playing on the "your project will die" aspect that she knows drives me nuts. I wouldn't have trained so many people for her if it was going to turn out that she wouldn't trust them and will instead guilt trip me into coming back. Don't get me wrong---I still love her. I just wish I hadn't expected this outcome.

Damn it, I hate that I feel like I don't have a backbone. I think that's the real problem here. I can stand up for myself when it comes to my mentors, but when it comes to PIs, my backbone disappears because I so desperately want to get papers because I really want to have an outstanding grad career to get a fantastic postdoc to be able to get a TT job.

Anyways, I need to go pack for tomorrow. I'm going into my lab at GSU and then driving two hours to go into lab at my undergrad. I probably won't be back until Monday morning. Hopefully things go well and this weekend in undergrad lab isn't a waste.

Running buddy!

I am soooo tired.

Another first year (the only female first year I've actually been hanging out with) and I are now running buddies. Yay!

Good: She and I have essentially the same pace, stress relief, getting back into shape, efficient use of time in the morning when I've set something up in lab, we're probably going to do an 8K together

Bad: I AM SO TIRED AND WE ONLY DID 2.5 MILES. I usually (i.e. before I graduated) did 5-6 mile runs. Fail status for the getting out of shape.

But guys guys guys I passed my tests! I don't have to take undergrad classes! Wooooooo! Just a shitton of grad level courses...woo?

And today my co-adviser person (research scientist collaborator person) told me he really hopes I join the lab. And he doesn't really have any real financial investment in me joining. So that's pretty cool.

Anyways, just as a random note about the status of this blog---I'm planning on doing a blogroll and a cast of characters type list. Please shoot me an email if you would like to be included on the blogroll or if you have suggestions for future posts/blog improvement.

Quick post.

Ok, I really want to go put my laundry in the washing machine (damn you, 8am-10pm laundry room hours) and go for a run before I go to my baseball team's game in GSU city, so this will be fast.

1. Orientation has started! My classmates seem cool. I like most people so far.

2. I've been getting a lot of people (mostly guys) coming up to me and remembering who I am. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to remember their names. This makes me think that I am somehow memorable. According to a guy friend, it's probably due to the fact that I am: a) approachable (who knew?) and friendly and b) not in the large pack of women that seems to have formed. The cliques can be broken down into biochemists/organic and physical people who like biomolecules (mostly men), women who aren't biochemists (a fairly large group), and international students. I've talked to people from all 3 groups, but I mostly have been around the biochem group.

3. Placement exams are over! I'll find out the results on Tuesday. As long as I passed 3 including biochem, I should be ok. Even if I didn't, then I just have to take classes. Which would be sad, but meh.

4. Meeting with CurrentPI went pretty well yesterday. Apparently Fred told her I did a good job, which is nice. It (unsurprisingly) went from me presenting to her coming up with brilliant ideas.

5. Asked if CurrentPI would write me a letter/let me do a proposal on my current work for NSF, and she said yes. Also agreed to let me extend my first rotation into the first official rotation. (So sorta like the "let's move in together" relationship talk. As compared to when I'll be asking a PI to join the group...the "let's get engaged" talk of grad school.) Now I just have to dig up a letter of rec from Lab Mom and BigWig I worked for in Summer 2009.

And I'm off!

Well, that was not fun.

Warning: If you don't want to hear me bitching, stop reading now.

Anyways, today was my first group presentation. For the past week, I've been hardcore working on figures and slides for my presentation with Fred. The presentation was rescheduled twice before today.

First of all, Fred drove me *nuts.* I spent at least a good 20 hours in total with him coaching me over my shoulder. Despite repeated attempts to get him to back off. He corrected my acknowledgments, for goodness sake. I told him that he was hovering. I told him that my tolerance for it was incredibly low. And he just wouldn't stop. (I don't mind corrections and help---I mind you trying to dictate each word of the presentation.) I got so frustrated that I went and cried in the bathroom twice, which is only something I've done when dealing with the world's most frustrating class.

Secondly, after getting up early to go practice in lab/make some last minute changes, my PI had to reschedule for later today and so texted Fred. Who did not tell me. Until 30 min before I was supposed to give the presentation. Which led to another 3.5 hours of him dictating changes to me.

Third, PI showed up right before the presentation. Explains that family emergency occurred and she'll have to miss the presentation.

I gave the presentation to the lab and our collaborators. Got a rave from Fred about how I did, which is cool. (Though I did make him promise to buy me a beer or let me punch him. He chose to buy me a beer in the future.) Giving the presentation to PI with probably just Fred present tomorrow after orientation stuff ends in the afternoon. (Orientation tomorrow---yay/yikes!)

The only really cool part was that a few of my project ideas were raved about by a collaborator who I talk to a lot (he's on campus and we use his equipment all the time) and he thinks I should totally follow up on these ideas. :)

But ahhhhhhhh. What a day.

Visit to undergrad.

I really enjoyed visiting my undergrad. I got to see a lot of my friends, including a few class of 2010 people that were in the area.

It was definitely kind of odd though---very bittersweet. I do miss a lot from undergrad, but in a way, going back sort of confirmed my thoughts that I was ready to move on. I miss my friends and profs, but I realized that when talking to a friend and describing why the metalloprotein I'm currently working on is super interesting---I'm really happy to be working on something I'm passionate about. I love biophysical chem and metalloproteins, and at undergrad, I didn't get to work on either.

It would have been a better weekend if I could have seen Lab Soulmate and Lab Mom, but neither was possible. I saw a lot of good friends, got some work done, and had fun. Though staying up watching Spirited Away (very enjoyable movie, by the way) with friends until 4 AM was probably a bad idea when I was meeting up with a friend for breakfast at 8:30. But yeah.

Anyways, back to working on my group presentation that has now actually been firmly scheduled for Tuesday. Wish me luck!

Orientation approacheth!

Things have been going pretty well here. Still getting along with labmates, still getting along with roommates, still working my ass off for the two different grad students with barely overlapping schedules, and still trying to make friends with other incoming first years.

Orientation is starting in less than a week...crazy times.

My group meeting presentation will not be occurring this week due to my PI taking a spontaneous family vacation, but it's been pushed back to early next week. Still flipping over it (Fred thinks this is funny. I don't).

I might get to head back to my undergrad and visit this weekend, so I'm excited about that.

Ran into a potential PI yesterday, which wasn't surprising as I was using his lab equipment. What was surprising was that he actually remembered me from the interview weekend. Our exchange went something like this:

PPI: Hey, don't I know you?

BOTR: Oh, uhhhh, yeah. We met a while ago at interview weekend! I'm working for CurrentPI for the summer.

PPI: You were the one who worked for MyPostDocAdvisor, right? You should come work for me on SuperCoolMetalloprotein! We just submitted a paper on it and I really want someone to start working on SuperCoolMetalloprotein since my grad student on it is graduating soon.

BOTR: *proceeds to geek out about paper, terribly embarrassing herself in the process*

I have a feeling that the decision between my current lab and this lab isn't going to be easy to make...the choice between the dueling metalloproteins! CurrentMetalloprotein is pretty nifty too.

Also, I should stop feeling so flattered that PPI wants me to work for him. It's definitely only because I already worked on SuperCoolMetalloprotein.

Things I have learned.

1. If you are sick, please, please please do not come into lab. Everyone else will refuse to stand within a 10 foot radius of you. Except, of course, your rotation student who is forced to spend lots of time breathing in your germs.

2. If you are trying to help said rotation student with an upcoming presentation, do not get her sick.

3. Denial (and orange juice, sleep, and lots of tea) can help keep the germs at bay.

4. However, denial can only prevent the full blown cold. You'll still feel vaguely sick. And it still sucks. And the full blown cold is bound to hit at any moment.

Moral of the story: Don't spread your cold. Health first, work later (or just work on whatever stuff you can at home).

Updates are coming, I promise...

So as seen by my last post (and many others before that), this whole grad school transition has had a great deal of ups and downs.

My freakout was no doubt inspired by the news that I'll either be giving group meeting this week or next week (my PI might be out of town this week, so it'll probably be next week). My mentor Fred (who I've been shadowing most of the time), who has been a great mentor so far, sorta shoved me under the bus without warning.

Granted, I do have stuff to present. It's mostly Fred's work that I've done or helped with, along with a side of the work I've done for Hailey (grad student mentor who I've done about 25% of my work with). And I knew I'd have to do one by the end of my rotation. But my rotation isn't over for at least 4 more weeks.

After hearing this, I ended up asking Fred about the whole "you're presenting" bit. Yeah, we've collected a lot of data---so why would he want me to take some credit for it rather than presenting it himself? (And obviously, while I would be thanking him in my credits a great deal, the perception is different than if he was presenting it by himself.) Essentially, he told me that I'm the best person he's ever trained, so he thinks he'll look even better to the boss if I do a rockin' presentation. And I'll look good if I do a rockin' presentation. Later that day, the boss found me and told me that she's heard "lots of good things about [me]."

So I clearly should do a rockin' presentation. Good thing I love talking about research?

Lab homesickness.

So I'm in lab still. Rapidly approaching another 13 hour day (f****** protein purification days).

And a terrible case of lab homesickness has swept over me.

I miss undergrad. I miss my lab. I miss my Lab Mom. I miss my friends. I even miss the model organism that I used to work with.

And most of all, I miss being independent.

My grad student mentor has been sick for the past two days, so I've been by myself/working with my other grad student mentor. But the terrible thing is that while I've really enjoyed the "freedom," I hate that this isn't my project, so when I screw stuff up, I feel like a terrible human being. These aren't my materials/time to waste, this is his protein and his time, even when he's not here.

I feel like I wasn't really meant to get here. There was clearly some sort of mistake.

I'm now convinced that I'm going to try my damndest, but that I won't be able to do it. I won't get my PhD, I won't get a good postdoc, and I'll never be able to teach.

I admit it---the fact that the chances of me ever getting a tenured position are so slim gives me this bleak outlook. And it breaks my heart. I really want a position where I can have my own lab/teach. My happiest daydreams are when I'm thinking about what I want to study in *my* lab someday.

I'm just so terrified for the moment where someone discovers that my effort/passion for the field doesn't measure up to my talent. And it's bound to happen sometime soon.

Oh so this is grad school...

Just got back from 13 hours of protein purification + all of my other experiments. With no lunch break except to shove my sandwich into my mouth and run.

And my weeks have been about 10-11 hour days.

Still enjoying it, even though the transition from lazy college graduate bum to hard working rotation student has been exhausting.

Tired. Bed nowwwww. Or as one of my roommates put it, "Good thing you don't have a life."

An Open Essay on Wombattiness.

Wombat: 1)(n) A small, furry marsupial, as seen here. 2) (n) A clueless undergrad or incoming grad student. Someone who has very little idea what is going on. Can also be used as an adjective to describe general incompetence.

It can be used in a sentences like these:

"Billy laughed at the new wombat in the lab who couldn't find the beakers."

"As she looked through a cabinet for the third time, BotR cursed the day that she had become a wombat."

"Dude, way to wombat it up by asking where we keep our FeCl3."

Can often be heard asking questions such as these*:
1. Where's the nearest bathroom?
2. Um, is this open?
3. Uh, is this on?
4. Can you say that again?
5. You guys store that in the -80, right?
6. Uh, how do I get into the building on weekends?
7. How does your autoclave work?
8. Any special instructions on the pH meter?
9. Do you guys grow your cultures in tubes like these?
10. Where is ________? (Fill in with any piece of equipment, reagent, location or wombat's mentor.)


Wombat syndrome can happen to competent people when moving into a new lab. However, this does mean that the competent person will be viewed as a wombat and spoken to in a gentle voice (by at least one person) so as to not spook the wombat**.

*These are all questions asked by me within the past two days. In my defense, the bathroom question was legit since I hadn't ever been in that building before.

**There's at least one person who thinks that I'm hopeless in my new lab. She's been very nice, so hopefully when I don't have to ask where everything is anymore she'll stop using a sugar sweet voice so as to not freak me out. In her defense, I'm pretty sure I run around with a crazy look on my face like "Omg, I will burst into tears if I can't find their filter flasks."

Posts to come.

I am tired, therefore I will be lazy with my post tonight and just tell you what exciting bits I have planned for the next few weeks:

1. I want to discuss more about LGBT issues in a scientific workplace. This will require lots of people to give me input. I'm editing some questions right now, and I hope that you all + even more people will help me with more answers.

2. I've been getting lots of questions in my non-blogging life from friends that are about to enter the sphere of grad school apps. Therefore, I have decided to essentially start a short series on the advice that I have given/stuff people are about to ask. PLEASE SEND IN QUESTIONS to help me design this series!!!

3. The book reviews that I have half typed up will be up soon. I promise.

Send in questions/topics by either commenting/emailing me at biochemistontherun@gmail.com !

LGBT scientists, where are you???

Ok, so as you probably all have assumed, I'm a white, straight female. So any comments I make in this area are just from personal experiences.

Is there a particular reason that I haven't met a great deal of LGBT science folks? Out of all the science people I've met over the years, I can safely say that I've only met about 10 sciencey people who are open. And out of those 10 people, I can safely say that they have all been really, really good at the science that they're interested in.

First, let's start off with a big fat "duh" factor: Obviously, every single category of person out there can do science.

But here's my question: Why have I met so few scientists who are out? I've met lots of people who are out over the years, but it's been rare that they've been in science, math, or engineering. I've met tons of gender studies, philosophy, art, theater, history, English, etc. majors.

Therefore, I've come to several different conclusions:
1. LGBT scientists are less likely to be open due to science culture itself.
2. Science culture is not a LGBT friendly environment.
3. All of us as scientists should do something.

But what? I have always respected people's privacy about their own lives, whether they are single and straight or married and gay. How can I voice my support without being accidentally condescending or treating people differently for their orientation? How can I change the system without being so passive of an ally?

I suppose I'll just go on treating everyone with respect and dignity, and hope that over time, everyone will do the same. But that feels a little naive. And hopefully this is just my narrow experience, and that it's a problem that I'm making up in my own head.

Ideas are appreciated.

Falling into a routine.

I am a huge fan of routines. I like having a vague schedule to adhere to, but it takes me a lot of time to create the schedule, so my best bet is to add a few things at a time.

I'm now trying to add exercise back into my routine. I love running (hence the pen name), but I have a heart problem (nothing serious) that makes shifting back into running after a long time of inconsistent exercise difficult. Bah. Roommate and I went for a run yesterday, and we only went two miles due to a big hill + my heart problem.

I hate slowly shifting back into exercise. I want to go back to running 6 miles again now!

I'll be posting more book reviews in a few days. Sorry about being such a slackerface about writing those up!

First week impressions.

Well, my first week of grad school has been completed and I'm still alive.

The roommates have moved in, the cat is adjusting well, and I am not in the lab on a Saturday (a first and last occurrence). Life is good.

It was a crazy week---tons of new information to process, new people to meet, and I've already learned three techniques that are new to me. It looks like how my rotation will work in this group will be the style of me assisting the grad students in the group that work on my metalloprotein of interest so I can get exposed to lots of different techniques.

But the most important thing: I really, really like these people. My potential groupmates are really nice and funny and have been really welcoming. They're all really good buddies with each other, and a large portion of the group hangs out outside of lab on a regular basis. I'm hoping to break into this group soon. My current mentor is a fourth year grad student who has been a great teacher and very patient with me and all my questions. He informed me that "[I] seem to pick up things quickly" so I'm going to take that as a "you're not totally useless" sort of compliment! :)

My PI seems pretty awesome. Smart, funny, and passionate about her work. She's definitely a little scattered, but she's really blunt, which is new for me in a PI. I think I'll work best with a blunt PI: I tend to get irritated if you hint to me that you think I should come in more, you don't think my way is the most efficient, you think I'm not doing a technique right, etc. but you don't come right out and say it so I have to guess what's wrong. (Not to bash on either of my former PIs, there were many awesome qualities in both of them, but when you're trying so hard to be nice it can be difficult to be both kind and clear about what you want fixed.)

Anyways, I suggested something that I read to my grad student mentor for trying to fix one of the techniques, so he ordered the chemical and I get to try it this week. Most of the lab will be out for a conference next week, so I get to finally do a bunch of the stuff I've learned by myself. I also get to set up crystal trays soon!!!1!111 I'm super excited about that, since I miss doing crystallography and this will be the first time I get to do it since last summer.

Thank goodness my panicked state has finally subsided. Now I'm only flipping out about stretching the money I have until Sept 1st (payday seems so very far away) and my upcoming exams.

Email tag stopped!

My email tag with my new PI has finally stopped! I'm officially starting tomorrow morning. Excited, but let me say a few words about this:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I don't know why I'm flipping out. Everyone knows that the first day is mostly paperwork and irritating stuff like that. She even said that there's a lab safety training thing tomorrow.

A quick note: I'm sorry that I keep on having panicky posts. I don't mean to be a downer, this is just how I feel about this entire process. I'm sure there are other people out there who deal with BIG changes much better, but I want to honestly reveal my thoughts about moving to grad school for anyone who might be reading this who might be feeling the same levels of panic. You are not alone!

Adjusting.

Now don't get me wrong---I don't mind being alone. In fact, I have often preferred to be alone.

But I like having things to do. Currently, my things to do list is running out. I've now unpacked completely, I've made a budget, and I've shopped for all of the things I'll need. I'm no longer panicking about moving related stuff, so now I'm just worrying about starting up in a new lab stuff. And the chem tests. I'll probably start studying again tonight.

The new PI hasn't gotten back to me yet about starting tomorrow, and I doubt she will tonight. I sent her another email with my cell, just in case she still does want me to start tomorrow. I'm guessing that either she's out of town or my emails keep on getting lost in the masses of email she gets. I figure I'll call her office tomorrow morning if I don't get an email by then.

MOVED.

I moved two days ago, dropped my dad off at the airport yesterday (and subsequently missed the internet appointment), and I'm currently sitting in a frozen yogurt shop with free wifi. Man, every time I'm taken away from the internets, I realize how much impact it has on my life.

The roommates will move in either Friday or Saturday (my bet's on Saturday), so I have the apartment to myself for about a week.

The transition is going better than I thought, but I haven't really gotten to the really scary part yet. I just re-emailed the PI to remind her that I'm supposed to start on Monday since she didn't respond back to my email. Must...not...read anything into this (she's missed a few of my emails before, and I'm just assuming it's cause she gets tons of emails).

My mattress hasn't arrived yet (ah, the perils of ordering a super cheap mattress + super cheap shipping), so sleeping has been difficult. I'm guessing that it's going to show up by Monday, since the bed frame already got here. The cat has been hilarious---he keeps on hiding in bizarre places in the apartment. The best so far has been the linen closet. He managed to open the door, jump in, and close the door. And is perfectly content in there, and has repeated the act at least twice more.

Missing home. And the boy. And my friends. And the family.

On the bright side, my terribly worn phone (lasted about 4 years, and has several buttons no longer working and the battery barely holds a charge anymore) has now been replaced! Huzzah!

Moving tomorrow.

Tomorrow, the long drive occurs.

I am the mayor of panic city.

I made a bunch of lists yesterday, and it made me feel better. I'll probably make more lists today. And the cat is getting dropped off tonight.

I am petrified.

Anyone have some calming words?

PACKING.

Stupid packing. Yesterday I went through all of my upper division chem notes and organized them into a now exploding 3" binder. The irritating part about being a biochemist? I have to do a similar thing with my upper div bio classes. The studyfest has been retired until I move in.

Trying to not freak out, but it's tough not to. *Everything* is up for a flip out moment.

Will all of my crap fit in the car? (Yes, I've thrown out/given away/sold more crap since I packed up at school + my entire family doesn't have to fit in the car this time.)

But what if I forget something vital? (Then I will figure out a way to get it/get a new one.)

But I need to be studying!!! (No, packing is more important.)

I don't have enough time to say goodbye to everyone I want to! (They'll understand. You'll see them when you visit.)

And, of course, the biggest flip out moment (drumroll please):

WHY DID GRAD SCHOOL U EVEN ACCEPT ME I'LL NEVER SURVIVE DID THEY JUST WANT A GUARANTEED FAILFACE IN THE BUNCH I'LL NEVER MAKE FRIENDS BECAUSE PEOPLE WILL BE TOO BUSY LAUGHING AT MY INCOMPETENCE AND NO LAB WILL WANT ME EXCEPT FOR SOME PSYCHO LAB

The worst part about the last one is that I can't seem to completely talk myself out of it. D'oh.

Week till moving.

One week. Oh, the packing that I've been ignoring...

Car repairs today. Sad, sad car repairs.

Man, why can't GSU-city have good public transportation that would allow me to be in lab past 7pm?

I suppose that at least I won't be hit on. And that groceries will be easier to obtain than my usual getting on the bus/walking. And that both of the mechanics that I've talked to have assured me that my car has many, many years left on it.

But sad, sad car repairs.

Moving in 10 Days.

The countdown has now hit 10. Yikes.

Sorry for the lack of blog posts---two good friends got married on Saturday. This meant that this past week has been helping with prep, the bachelorette party, the wedding, the catch up sessions with many people, etc. I'm now hosting a friend for the next two days, so I expect not to post again for awhile.

The next 10 days are going to be filled with last minute apartment stuff, getting my car repaired for the big trip, packing, and squeezing in as many friends and family as possible.

Sigh. So freaked out. On the bright side, I finished analytical (*ding dong the witch is dead*), so only three more subjects to go. And I saved my three favorites for last. I think inorganic will be up next.

CAT

CAT.

Guys, I'm getting a cat to take with me to GSU!

Marie (not her real name, she has also been referred to as my best friend from home, or BFFH) called me about a week ago, telling me that she and her husband couldn't take Calvin with them to their new apartment. I asked the roomies if they would mind getting a cat a few months earlier than we'd planned. Well, I got their permission yesterday!

He's so cute! Calvin is a 3 year old black and gray tabby with BIG green eyes and a sweet temperament. I love cats. Don't get me wrong, I love dogs too, but I have a soft spot for cats and their independence. I lost my kitty about a year ago (he was 16, so he lived a good long life), and I've missed him a great deal since. Having a cat is something that I've really been looking forwards too, and it's even better getting a cat who I've known since he was a little kitty!

Yay!!!

zomg grad skool carnival contribution

I meant to post this later, but due to being too busy to come up with a new post today, you all get to see my zomg grad skool carnival contribution (courtesy of Samia over at 49 percent---go check out her post and submit your own thoughts by August 15th!). Check out her prompt first (if you haven't already) before reading!

I suppose I can sum up all of my feelings about moving to grad school with one word: wombatty. It's a term that once was strictly applied by a friend of mine (already in grad school) as describing irritating undergrads. However, a few close friends and I have expanded this particular term to describe someone who has little to no idea what is going on. There have been lots of jokes to further emphasize how wombatty we will become. No longer the mostly confident undergrad (perhaps with little reason), I will now become the new dork who has no idea where the pipet tips, lab pens, buffers, or even the bathroom will be. Despite my obsessive note taking, I will know where things are for a few short weeks, then be whisked into my new rotation with a new group. And again. And again. Since rotations in my program will only last a few weeks, it will be ridiculously insane. How will I correctly judge which group is right for me? How will the PIs judge me when I'll only have a few weeks in their lab? Will I get into the lab that I eventually choose, or will everyone else want to work for the same person?

I dread the coming incompetence that I feel sure will be exposed shortly. How did I even get into grad school? Why did my school accept me? Will my peers realize that a mistake was made by the grad school? I can only hope that plenty of my fellow incoming grad students will feel the same. Leaving my good friends---especially my "lab soulmate" best friend from undergrad---is nerve wracking.

However, my saving grace is that I have talked to others who feel the same way. I loved the grad students and my fellow prospective grad students at my choice of school. I will be continuing my pattern of working hard and trying my best. I'm living with two friends from undergrad who aren't in the program, but will be good friends even if I can't seem to make any. I think everything will be ok, and I'll get into a lab that I'll be happy and productive in. I choose a school that would give me a shot at these aspects, and I'm hopeful that I'll find my place at grad school. It just might take a while.

Anxiety + a Wee Bit of Fun

Got an email back from my future PI for confirming my start date. I'm really excited to start working for her. Even if I don't end up working for her (I have at least two, possibly three more rotations to do), I'm really hoping for a female role model.

I had so many amazing female scientist mentors at my PUI. Part of why I ended up picking GSU is that there were two established women who could help serve as mentors for possibly both my grad school research experience and my overall grad school experience.

*knocks on wood that this wish comes true*

And just for some fun, my family and I have loved the reality show (yes, yes I know) Cake Boss. Probably because it's similar to our Italian family. Except more New York, less New Jersey.

Cake Boss: Pizza Challenge

Curses! Foiled again.

To help pay for the repairs that I really need to make on my car, I've been trying to get a temporary job. Babysitting would be ideal, but everyone wants long term babysitters.

I've been looking for anything else that could potentially be a temporary position: cleaning, waitressing an event, pet sitting, store advertising, participating in the paid marketing groups, etc. It's just tough to find something that would happen within a month.

Hopefully something will come up? I mean, worse comes to worse, I'll dig a little more into my emergency savings and stretch my budget a little more.

In the meanwhile, I'll continue on my study quest.

Milestones.

A month from now, I will be starting my first day of researching at Grad School U. I just emailed my soon to be PI the other day to double confirm this fact.

Yikes.

But for now, I will control my flip out, put down the painful analytical textbook, and instead go out for dinner with the boy to celebrate 2 years of dating!*

I need to come up with a better nickname for him. Actually, I need to come up with better nicknames for everyone in this blog.

*Give or take. Neither of us can remember the day we started dating. We just know it was now-ish.

Bought car.

Bought car! Emotional state=relieved.

Bank account=sad. Thank goodness I'm a cheapskate who has no real life. And that I have a lot of the cooking supplies and whatnot. Though I still have a bunch of stuff to get/contribute for the purchase of things like a couch. And textbooks. And minor(ish) car repairs. And the full first month's rent. And car insurance.

Sigh. And I don't officially get paid until Sept. Perhaps I will find a loophole in this concept. (I'm sure there is somewhere.)

And maybe I'll start putting up babysitting flyers.

Probably both!

1/5 Subjects Complete

Complete: Ochem

Not even touched: Pchem, Analytical, Biochem, Inorg

Just finished my rereading of my ochem textbook in time for me to find a letter about the exams in my email inbox. Yikes.

Trying to not flip. Not working. Attempting to comfort myself with the fact that I still have 2.5 months to cover the rest of the material.

Tomorrow, I begin the covering of analytical. (Yuck. At least the book they recommended is the same one we used at SLAC?) I plan to bribe myself by going to a coffee/bagel place tomorrow. Hopefully analytical will be over quickly.

Attempting to get a car tonight! *crosses fingers* My first car. Man, will that purchase eat up most of my savings, which is hard for my bargain hunting self to accept. But I need the car for grad school, I'm (hopefully) getting a bargain car that will last me many years, and I've done a bunch of research to assure myself of these facts.

Balance? What balance?

Ever since we signed a lease, I've been thinking about what things I'd like to do once I move to GSU.

Obviously, I'll be balancing classes and research. And TAing after the first quarter.

And then there's the mental health aspects: my running (hopefully going to do my first half marathon in the next six months!), keeping in touch with friends, keeping up the LDR, keeping my family in the loop, and making new friends.

But I'd really like to start volunteering again. I miss doing it. I didn't get to do it much in college other than doing fund-raising for organizations---which is fun, and it's nice to know you're doing something, but it's not my style of volunteering. I graded a science fair at a local school this past spring, and I realized that it was something that I'd missed. Interacting with the kids was fun, and I loved using my scientific background to benefit someone else.

I'm going to wait several months and see how busy I am, but I'd really like to spend an hour or two a week tutoring. I found a few different organizations that I could do this through, so here's hoping that I can do it.

Book Ideas?

I've got one book left that I'm reading...anyone else have any suggestions for books? (Especially if it's one you'd like me to review.) Unless I discover a new stack of books I've never read, I'll go on an automatic repeat cycle for some of my favorites. My preference is the pop-science and history of science genre, but I'm open to all suggestions.

Happy Father's Day!

The Secret Life of Germs

I made the very poor choice of reading this mostly in the airport and on the train. Don't do that. You start to get paranoid about everything you touch, which is not an enjoyable way of taking a trip.

The Secret Life of Germs by Dr. Philip Tierno is a fast read. It's definitely written in an overly dramatic style. He has a bunch of hypothetical situations that could occur, but he writes them with the knowledge that he's doing it to illustrate his point. His sense of humor about these particular situations is definitely appreciated.

It's a fun/slightly horrifying book to read. Dr. Tierno makes a lot of good points throughout the book. Probably the scariest point that he emphasizes every chance he can get is that a public hand washing campaign would save a great deal of lives. However, it gets a little tiresome after the 50th time we've heard this particular fact. It's also written so that each chapter ends with about a page of his germ-fighting facts---good for reference, irritating for reading through.

If I were to give someone who knew absolutely nothing about biology a book about biology, this is probably one of my top five picks. I'll give it a 4/5 for an interesting and fun, if slightly preachy, read.

Thoughts on Public Transportation

I've been using public transportation (alone) since I was 13, which isn't particularly long compared to most hardcore public transportation users.

While I was on the bus yesterday to get to the DMV, my mind started to wander. You see, some of the big reasons that I have not gotten my license are:
1) The thought of driving used to flip me out when I was younger.
2) I don't mind walking around 2 miles to get places.
3) I don't mind public transportation to get me within those two miles.
4) Public transportation and walking are pretty cheap as compared to the cost of owning and driving a car (most of the time). I do admit that it takes a lot more time than driving.

But above all, my thoughts on public transportation are that it really exposes you to both the worst and best in human beings. (This post was inspired by a really nice bus driver that let a mom and her daughter on for free.)

I've spent three of my summers taking a bus for at least an hour (one-way) and a bunch of more infrequent uses, which gives me a good amount of time on public transportation.

I've been hit on (same with every other woman from the ages of 13-35?), argued with, mocked, groped, heard arguments, and been on buses with drunk/disorderly/obnoxious/violent people. However, I've also made friends with bus drivers that stopped when they saw me running for the bus, that let people on for free, had conversations with really lovely people, and people that paid for other people's fares. To be sure, most of the time I only have an average experience.

And while I really like trains more than buses due to the speed, you definitely see more of this on buses. I don't think my future possession of both car and license will stop me from taking PT---a bus is a great way to learn the area for a reasonable sum of money. Though a car will definitely be easier for groceries.

Anyways, I suppose it's a moot point since I need a car to get from our new apartment to GSU (especially for lab hours). Two things I've learned on PT: 1) if you have your nose in a book, you don't get hit on as much and 2) bus drivers really appreciate a quick "Thank you." (I've made friends with a lot of bus drivers that way.)

Am I Making Myself Clear?

From the title of this book, it looked more like a book for scientists to talk to their non-scientist cohorts.

Actually, Am I Making Myself Clear? is a guide written by Cornelia Dean, former science editor of the New York Times. In it, she details the best way for scientists to communicate with the press.

It's a great book. Even though it has very little relevance to my career at this stage, I really enjoyed hearing the nature of the interactions between the press and science.

A fair amount of the book showcases Ms. Dean's frustration with the fact that scientists and journalists view each other as "boring and overly concerned with details" and "completely not concerned with the process or important details. Ms. Dean seems to be frustrated by the fact that along with funding being slashed, these two groups cannot seem to find any common ground. This leads to very little of the important information that scientists can provide being passed on to the public by journalists.

I don't want to go through too much of the book---it's mostly tips for each different type of media interaction that scientists might encounter.

I would definitely recommend this book. It's not very useful for someone at this stage of my career, but it was definitely really interesting to see the media viewpoint on scientists. I'll give it a 4/5---here's to hoping this book will become really useful to me in the future!

Errands, phone calls, and appliance hunting!

Busy today!

Studying, thank you notes (that should have been done weeks ago...yikes), Goodwill run for appliances/clothes, more cleaning, organizing of boxes, and post office run.

Anyone have a good source for cheap and used appliances/furniture? We're planning to check out yard sales and Craigslist when we're there, but any other source ideas would be great. I know we're planning on getting cleaning supplies from a dollar store that's nearby.

Apartment!

Woooo!

We've signed a lease in a nice 2bd/2ba!!!!

That's a relief. Today's catching up with apartment related phone calls, recovering from very little sleep (early departures, all day apartment viewings, lots of discussion with the roomies, more studying, and sleeping on people's floors), studying and a baseball game tonight! :)

Oh, and just as a tip, looking for an apartment in a limited time span went much faster when we used this process:
1) Collect tons of places within your price range
2) Divide into geographic locations that you'll visit within a set amount of hours
3) CALL. Don't email. While a few places got back to us really quickly over email, most were delayed by 36 hours instead of 12 (what I thought they'd do). When making the appointments, tell them your price range and when you want to move in---that'll eliminate more.
4) Leave an hour for each appointment and 15 minutes for getting to and from places.
5) Ask lots of questions when you get there. That eliminated places really quickly for us---average utilities? How are utilities divided up (by building or unit or complex)? How's the internet done? Do you need renter's insurance? Pet rent/deposit? Laundry? Parking? Test things like water pressure, stoves, how easily closets and windows open---don't be shy! If the renter doesn't know the answers, you might not want to live there.
6) Drive by the complex at night and see what parking and the atmosphere is like. (That immediately eliminated a place we loved.)
7) Consider the surroundings: bus stops, shopping centers, groceries, parks, and banks.

Anyways, the process was painful. But now it's mostly over! Hooray!

Apartment hunting sucks!

Yesterday was all about the apartment hunting. SO MUCH EMAILING AND CALLING. I'll be going for two days to see the apartments.

I'm looking for a 2bd apartment with two of my friends from PUI. I'm a little nervous about living with a couple, but I think it's going to be ok. I know Roommate 1 as a former roommate of one of my former roommates, and she's really relaxed and mature. Roommate 2 is a friend of a friend that I've gotten to know better over the past year. He's a fun guy who is also going to GSU (but for math).

What makes me think that this should work is the fact that they're very good at being independent while being a couple. I really like both of them, and I think all three of us are blunt enough to voice any problems.

Also, hold music sucks.

Supersense.

No one's stopping me! Book review time. This will be short since I have to get back to apt hunting online (weeee).

Supersense, a book by cognitive psychologist Bruce Hood, covers the development of human belief in the supernatural world.

I liked it, with a few exceptions.

First of all, he got stellar reviews from all of the people who he quotes in the book. Which is fine. But when you're surrounding these other scientists quotes with "so and so's fantastic study" and "Dr. Fantastic has this interesting study" it's a little sketch.

He also writes his book in a very different way. Dr. Hood talks directly to his audience, posing tons of rhetorical questions. It's a little odd.

Dr. Hood writes a very appealing book. However, I never really got into it. I don't know why. I thought I'd enjoy the subject. To be honest, it's probably related to the fact that I never really warmed to psychology. Especially studies that involve babies. They just seem rather odd to me. For example, to show that babies will imbue human characteristics into non-human things, they set a baby on the floor and moved a hat that was attached to a little robotic component that the scientists were controlling. When the hat beeped, the baby made noise. When the hat moved, the babies moved.

Yes, this gives more evidence for some point. But whose idea was it? This book has a tons of studies that are similar in the "baby studies" nature.

I'd give it a 3/5. Not too bad, not too good. Read it if you have some time to kill.

Vacation over!

And that concludes the last two week vacation with my family for quite some amount of time.

I'll update more tomorrow....I'm too tired.

P.S. Are the book reviews boring people out of their minds? I have a few more books that I finished over vacation...

Baseball and Science

As much as I ranted about James Watson's book in my last post, there was one passage that brought up what I've been thinking about for a few months.

I love the game of baseball. I love my home team. Part of the inital draw of my boyfriend was that I'd found someone who loved the game just as much but was definitely just as nerdy.

Science and baseball have a great deal in common, in my opinon. Watson makes a few comparisons about running a lab like a baseball team, which I don't have a way to connect, as I've "run" a lab, but never actually run a lab.

Both have incredible amounts of people who are simultaneously rational and superstitious. If you work really hard, you might not get anywhere on a national level, but there will be a smaller group of people that appreciate you for your effort (hopefully).

There will be your superstars that everyone loves, and the ones that everyone hates. There will be cheating scandals.

Baseball is a sport where in order for a team to be well functioning, there can't be just one superstar. There will be different levels of skill. But the team working together produces far more runs and more wins than individuals.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that science and baseball both create a community among the players. As a baseball fan and a scientist, when I hear, "Did you see the game?" it brings up the same sort of emotions as "How'd that experiment go?" Everyone hopes to hear about results, and most people complain and offer up criticism to make the results better.

Anyone else out there see any comparisons/faults with a comparison of baseball and science? Other than the large differences in salary, of course!

Avoid Boring People

Still on the vacation, so I'm scrambling to put up all of the books I've read.

Alrighty, so I have avoided Nobel prize winner James Watson's Avoid Boring People. I have been incredibly biased towards him ever since I learned about his treatment of Rosalind Franklin, and have refused to give him a second chance. I thought that he was a sexist jackass.

I stumbled upon this book for about the 4th time in the last two years and decided that I should finally give him a chance.

Frankly, it wasn't worth it. Watson portrays almost everyone---including himself---as the stereotypical Harvard tool that I've run into many a time. Every single description of a woman starts with her physical appearance ("the blond" is a common theme). He describes many of his lab techs as women who unfortunately had boyfriends. About 25% of this book is his description of his failure to "get" the woman who he has his eye on. Intelligence in women is portrayed as an afterthought.

His particularly infuriating last chapter revolves around his defense of the marks made by the Harvard president on women in science. (It's essentially "There are differences in men and women's brains! Why is everyone so mad? Also, my former student [Nancy Hopkins, prof at MIT] shouldn't outrage herself like that. It's not to her credit as a scientist.)

The book is written in an odd format: first Watson describes a particular period of his scientific career, and then a list of his advice is found at the end of each chapter. This particular way of presenting his advice is more of a textbook style format, which isn't fun to read. He does have a chatty, enjoyable style of writing. However, it's not enough to save this book.

I'll give it a 1/5. Flip to the back (where he has all of his hints in a list) in the bookstore, read and take what you like from it, put it down, and don't even bother reading it.

Pandora's Keepers

As I said in my last post, I've had a lot of time for reading.

How I choose my books to purchase is based on approximately three different questions:
1) Does it sound like it'll be interesting? (I've been on a science history/pop-science kick for the past few years.)
2) Is it used or on sale? (An important question for my limited budget.)
3) Will I cry due to the terrible writing or will I spasm due to over-simplifications?

Pandora's Keepers was a book that I thought sounded interesting, was on sale, and the writing seemed pleasant. For whatever reason, I left it on my shelf for about a year. When packing for the vacation, I threw it into my backpack.

When opening up this book on the plane, I was drawn in immediately and regretted leaving this book on a shelf for a full year. Brian VanDeMark has mostly written books on Vietnam, but this book centers on the drama involving the nine primary scientists who worked on the atomic bomb in the US. He paints intimate portraits of each scientist, giving the reader a chance to see the strengths and weaknesses of each personality. As I passed through the book, I felt emotionally involved in each step of the project.

It's hard to give a review that does justice to this particular book. While VanDeMark definitely has his own bias throughout the book, which is very apparent in his treatment of the Oppenheimer affair, it's difficult to fault him for this bias. He gives a fair picture of almost all of the scientists, and does a good job of weaving together a dramatic, interesting story.

The major flaw that I found with this book was at the end. VanDeMark has a chapter that is essentially his views on nuclear weapons. For whatever reason, it left a bad taste in my mouth. While his opinion on this subject is pretty clear throughout the book, I didn't enjoy his argument.

Despite this last chapter, I'd definitely recommend this book. If you're looking for an informative, interesting account of the scientists of the atomic bomb, read this book. I'll give it a 4.5/5---it would have been a 5 without the last chapter!

And the Freaking Out Begins!

Great parts about being on vacation: seeing family that I never see, sleeping in, being able to read more, feeling less guilty about doing "nothing," and running in new places.

Not-so-good events: family drama, being shut in a car for many hours, less freedom, limited access to internet, but especially way too much time to flip out about my upcoming apt hunt with my roommates and my move to grad school.

Since GSU has entrance exams, my panic has been mostly focused on that. It's the usual deal: ACS written exams in Biochem, Ochem, Inorg, Analytical, and Physical. However, I have now got it stuck in my head that I will flunk all 5 exams and have to take all of the classes over. For the classes that I loved, I really don't want to do that---I want to take more advanced classes in the subject (biochem, inorg, and physical). For the class I hated (analytical), I never ever want to take that again. And for ochem, I would love to TA it instead of gen chem, since I've really enjoyed TAing that class.

Therefore, on the family vacation, my ochem textbook has come with me. Let the freakout begin!

Musicophilia.

I've decided to share my opinion on my reading materials. Just for fun. I mean, hey, it's my blog!

Ok, so I just finished Musicophilia by Oliver Sacks.

Let me first preface my opinion with the fact that I am not a neuroscientist. I really don't know much about the brain other than what I learned in introductory biology.

Dr. Sacks has a very distinct writing style. I've read him before, and enjoyed it. I have always gotten the sense that he was always told by his editor, "Oliver, are you serious? Tone the snob down." However, that delightful hint of snob definitely is fun to read. And it certainly doesn't get in the way of his natural compassion and curiosity that are easy to see when he discusses his patients.

Musicophilia is fascinating. Sacks recounts many different types of cases where music was a blessing, a curse, or an innate gift to those with neurological problems. My favorite chapter was about patients that have Williams syndrome---a small deletion in a chromosome leads to many issues (the inability to identify geometric patterns, low IQ, distinct facial features, etc.) and amazing innate musical ability.

However, the book isn't the best showing for Sacks. I feel like half of the book he refers to his other books in which he details either similar or the same case. Yes, we get it, you wrote other books. But it feels like an informative documentary that keeps on getting interrupted by commercials. The overall storytelling nature that I enjoyed in the other book I read by Sacks (The Island of the Colorblind) is found only within the individual chapters. That's great when you just want to read one chapter at a time, but it feels somewhat jarring when you're reading larger chunks of the book.

Overall, I'd say read it. If you don't know anything about neuroscience, it's fine---he does a good job of explaining the basics. And the stories are unreal. I would judge it to be a 3.5/5---borrow it from the library, but don't buy it.

Enjoyable worrying.

While most of my "holy crap I'm going to grad school" worries have not been fun, the one thing I've actually enjoyed "worrying" about has been the decided lack of variety in my cheap & quick cooking category.

I know how to cook these cheap staples:
-pasta
-rice! (without a rice cooker, I might add)
-beans

I can do variations on these themes, though I'm a lot more limited on the bean recipes.
Anyone out there have tips for recipes? (I am a vegetarian.)

P.S. Here's an enjoyable cookbook written by grad students that is fun: Grad Student Cookbook.

An Elephant in the Room

Ok, two posts in one day.

I've been talking a lot about sexism lately. However, after chatting with an old friend today, I think there's another subject that I don't usually think about or deal with much.

When I come home and I talk with my best friend from high school, I remember this "elephant." She's an incredibly bright, lovely, large hearted human being. When things got tough in high school, we always had each other. When things got tough in college, she was the person that I called crying at 2 AM. She was the one who called me crying about her abusive boyfriend. We often have very long periods of time where we don't talk.

But then we meet up, and it's as if no time went by. We laugh, we gossip, and do our usual get together activity. However, there's always been a large elephant in the room about the differences in the levels of education.

Comparatively, I've had a *much* easier time in life. While I've worked many different jobs while in college, I never had any fear about not being able to eat the next day. She's worked two FT jobs, supported a husband who wasn't acting as a partner, had to go to soup kitchens, and had other various life events along that line. She's an incredibly strong woman. I'm lucky to have her.

Today, we were talking about kids. We both really want them. She really wants them now. She's been married almost a year. She's talking about having one within the next year. She's got a steady job, she and her 2nd husband are getting along splendidly, and she's mentally prepared for it. I'm so lost by this concept. I have no time for it. Unless someone decides to speed up the whole nine months into about a week, there's no way this will be happening within the next 5 years. Plus, I want to spend enough time with my kids. We both simultaneously understood and didn't understand each other on these viewpoints.

I'm getting a little lost with where I was going. I suppose I could sum this whole conversation up with the fact that I'm sometimes frustrated with the limitations of the career path I've chosen, but that I am grateful for the education that has allowed me to not experience the same hardships as my BFFH (best friend from home). She's a great person to talk to about this sort of stuff, since she's great at essentially slapping me awake about issues I don't usually think about. Everyone should have someone like my BFFH in their life.

Uh, ok. What now?

Ok. I've gotten home. My shit all got shoved into the car with my family. There are many boxes in the living room, and much crap in the room that will be vacated by the end of July.

Between a two week family vacation and leaving by the end of July (that's when I've arranged to start early on advice from grad students there), there's absolutely no way I can get a job other than perhaps a few babysitting gigs. So as far as I can tell, I'm here in HomeCity with little to do.

I'm going to try and make the most of it. Here's some plans:
1. Spend time with my sister before she goes abroad in the fall
2. Spend time with my parental units
3. Plan train trip with good friend to OurFriendsCity
4. Hangout with the BFF when she moves to my neck of the woods for grad school :)
5. Get driver's license (I've always lived in a decent area for public transportation, but no more!)
6. Give away craptons of my stuff
7. Read some books that I've always wanted to read
8. Arrange housing/confirm starting early
9. Go to some baseball games
10. Bake with the ex-roomie
11. Get up to 10 mi in my runs
12. Hang with the boy more before I leave
13. Start studying for entrance exams
14. Read papers for first lab
15. Go on a few "by myself" adventures

It's going to be a crazy summer!

Graduated.

I graduated yesterday. I now have my bachelor's in biochemistry.

Sad/happy/emotional/content.


Now to finish packing...

Sexism at a SLAC

I had a conversation today with one of my favorite chem profs of all time. He's really a great guy, and what the conversation was about was not particularly pleasant.

Throughout my four years here at the small liberal arts college I go to, there have been some incidents of sexism. Not lots, not anything to complain about in comparison to other places, but some. This used to be surprising to me, given the overwhelming majority women have in our science department.

Lately, I am no longer surprised by the crap given to me by male chem profs. I am not surprised, only saddened by the occurrences. This past semester has been an overwhelming amount of fail.

Both of the profs for the classes I TAed this semester gave me lots of shit about being a biochemist (you know, the "you aren't a real chemist" crap, despite the fact that I have taken ALL of the same courses plus some more chem courses plus some more upper div bio courses). One of them, after my "I've had it with your crap" moment which involved my don't fuck with me tone, conceded and has never done it to my face again. The other, well, he's just a special, special snowflake.

His harassment has not only involved demeaning me and my field of choice in front of our students, it has involved comments that are *far* too inappropriate to say to a student, let alone in front of a class of students. I can't get too detailed for fear of being recognized, but these comments stop just short of blatantly sexual.

I informed my favorite chem prof ever of these terrible comments today and he was incredibly horrified. He has now promised to talk to this prof (who is moving on to a new position that is TT)and is so incredibly upset that he didn't see this coming and that it occurred. My friend, who has had to deal with far worse from this tool, is also in the middle of registering a complaint.

The one thing that I have no idea how to handle is the fact that even though I gave this jerkwad as good as he gave me, he just didn't stop. I tried ignoring him, I tried giving him crap back, I gave up on being respectful to this man, I tried...everything I could think of. How am I supposed to deal with asshats like this when in the end, I had to go get a man to give him the slap across the face that he so desperately needs? How are students supposed to deal with the combination of a sexist man and position of authority?

Leaving so soon...

I'm done. Undergrad is over. I took my last final yesterday.

And today, the champagne!

I graduate in a week. I'm planning on spending that last week in lab and reading...for fun!

Dear Buttheads

Dear Peers of Mine:

I can freaking tell when you're cheating on your biochem hw. (Somehow, changing the words "due to" to "because" doesn't really disguise this fact.) Yes, the profs really need to stop using the same exact questions for the billionth year in a row. But this is ridiculous. The questions are not hard, and these profs bend over backwards to help you. And while clearly you don't have self-respect, cheating off of old answer keys and your peers is pushing it to a new low. However, this semester has set a new low for biochem classes. The fact that I have caught someone cheating almost every single week---ridiculous. Just disgusting.

Also, this is a tiny ass dept. And I know who 75% of you are, and I'm judging you.

Love,
Biochemist on the Run

Sentimental Moments

I had lunch with my thesis advisor today. It started out as a "Biochemist on the Run wants to know what she can do to get our paper out" meeting, and she clearly wanted to hang out after we were done. So we went to lunch. I realized that she really, really is my lab mom.

We sat outside for at least a good hour or so, just talking and enjoying the weather. I really have been so lucky to have her as a mentor. While she can have her moments of crazy (just like every mentor), in the end, she's a wonderful role model and example of who I want to be. She's incredibly hard-working, and possibly the most humble person I have ever met, despite her ridiculously long list of accomplishments. Even after working in science for many years, she is always optimistic and believes the best of her students. She has encouraged me for the past 2.5 years, and today (for the first time), we discussed my development as a scientist. We discussed her high-school age daughter, we discussed her husband, we discussed my parents.

Man, I'm going to miss her. She'll be my lab mom forever.

Speaking of sentimental moments, it's time to go to my last TAing of ochem lab (potentially ever!) as an undergrad. I'm going to miss my wombats!

How is your relationship with your first lab PI? Do you still keep in touch?

DONE.

All of the drama, all of my tears, and all of my effort has resulted in a 52 page biochem undergrad thesis.

And one that I'm not cringing to look at! :)

Now to finish the rest of the semester...

Soooo close.

Thesis is sooo close to being done. I'm handing it in to get bound on Friday.

New check list:
Poster for thesis
Catch up on TA grading
Much better thesis draft
Quantum chem paper
Final thesis edits
Inorganic homework
Grade lab notebooks

There's a presentation on Friday. But after Friday, other than physically walking my thesis to the people who need it, I'm done. Just need to take finals...wow.

If I make it this far through grad school, how much does anyone want to bet that I'll look back on this and laugh at how much I thought that this process rocked/sucked?

Oy.

Thesis has hit hard.

I'm sick and there's too much to be done on my thesis...and it's due in a little over a week.

Plus, there's plenty of other irritating deadlines/tasks in the next week:
Poster for thesis
Catch up on TA grading
Much better thesis draft
Quantum chem paper
Final thesis edits
Inorganic homework
Grade lab notebooks

I mean, I'm well aware that this isn't an impossible task. It just happens to be irritating stuff to either finish or start.

*grump* And boy is coming down for this weekend, along with two of my close friends who graduated a semester early. Laaaaaaaame.

Picked A Grad School!

I know where I'll be in Fall 2010! (I picked Place 2.)

I'd been leaning towards Place 2 for about a week, but couldn't say that I was going to Place 2 (now known as GradSchoolU). I finally made a decision after emailing a prof at GSU about doing a rotation with her. She responded back in a really positive way, and I'm happy and excited...and scared. Really scared.

I'm going to be challenged more than ever before. There is no guarantee of getting my Ph.D. Leaving all of my friends and profs that I've known for the past four years. I will no longer be the "star" of my lab. I will no longer be commended for putting in many hours each week into my lab work---it will be expected of me. Many of my friends that entered in Fall 2009 had a hellish first quarter/semester, and these are people who I respect as great in their respective fields. And I'll be entering into the "real world." (Sort of? I was scolded by one of my profs for calling it that, since "grad school isn't really the real world.") This will be a new place with new politics, new people to meet and avoid, and new locations of chemicals/equipment/supplies.

Then again, I'm really excited. I've only been able to do one summer where I did the biochem that I love and adore. When coming back to my PUI for my senior year, my senior year has been filled with completing a thesis in my lab here at school---I've been working in this lab since my sophomore year, and while I love my PI here, the biochem never truly caught me. I loved doing research, and when introduced to a subject that I adored as well as doing research---well, it was awesome! Getting to work on research that I find fascinating will be awesome, and being surrounded by other people who aren't all there for their letter of rec to med school will be really, really nice.

I'm excited. I'm scared. I can't wait, but I don't want to leave.

Anyone else out there have the same experience?

Picking A Grad School

I've now narrowed down my grad school choices to two places. I'm torn. Seriously torn.

Place 1: Good school, but an up and coming program that has just recently been accepted as a good place to do science. While I have a fair amount of other people I want to work for here, I have a guaranteed in with the prof that I think is likely to be a superstar someday (but who knows, right?). In the last few years the program has been able to place people into some amazing postdocs, but there are only a few people who have gone onto a TT position. Awesome stipend.

Place 2: Top ten in biochem. I have the same amount of profs to work for here, and probably liked the grad students here slightly better. Less awesome stipend and more expensive area. Great record of placement into amazing jobs in any setting.

Essentially all of the other factors are equal.

Does ranking matter in academia if you get an awesome postdoc? Does it mean more to work with a superstar or get your degree from a top ten?

Any advice or feedback would be amazing. I'm driving myself nuts!

Grad School App Advice

My Story: I started somewhat late in the game. In Summer 2009, I knew I wanted to be in grad school for biochem---I just thought it'd be in Fall 2011. Instead, while doing research at a Big Name Institution, I fell in love with the research. By the end of the summer, I knew that I wanted to be in grad school ASAP. Here's my timeline of what occurred next:

Aug-Took general GRE before school had started

Sept-Talked to profs; decided to apply; came up with final list of schools; got profs to agree to write letters

Oct-"Started work" on personal statement; started studying for the subject GRE

Nov-Actually wrote personal statement; sent to prof for revision/advice; took subject GRE in biochem; emailed profs at potential schools

Dec-Turned in apps; filled in nitty-gritty details; sent more emails to profs

I'd change a fair amount of my grad school application process if I could. Here's information that I learned from the process, as well as my other chem friends.

1.First things first, even if you don't think you'll be applying in the fall, take the subject GRE in the spring. Last fall was so hectic for me that I couldn't even study properly for it. It's only offered in April, Oct, and November and you need to sign up about a month ahead of time. Try and take the April one, even if you haven't finished all of the coursework. (Of course, if it's a large amount of coursework, then just try and take the Oct one.)

2. Actually start writing your personal statement early. You should be tailoring it for each school, but it'll probably just be a paragraph at the end of your essay. I know how it goes. A good friend of mine had a basic PS done by the end of the summer---great idea.

3. Don't try and apply to more than 6-7 schools. I actually stuck to this rule, but I had many friends who didn't. Just don't. You go crazy. And if you don't go crazy then, just wait until you get into too many schools and have to narrow it down anyways.

4. Ask for letters of rec early. I asked in September. DO THAT. I have one friend who was out of luck with one of his recs because he asked towards the end of October and the potential letter writer was too busy by this point.

5. Look up fellowships in the summer. I definitely missed the boat on that one. If you're going to apply to fellowships, start in the summer. You really don't want to be researching/writing it in the middle of a hectic, insane semester.

6. Priority for letters of rec writers: Person you've done research with that's closest for your future research > person you've done research for > prof that knows you well > prof whose class you did well in > TA > crazy raccoon you found in the dumpster. (You'll need three letters. I picked one #1, one #2, and one #3 because that's who I had.)

7. I wish I had emailed profs from various places I applied to in Sept. Or in the summer. If you're going to email, it feels slightly useless after November. I'm pretty sure emailing only helped me in one place.

8. WRITE A POSITIVE PERSONAL STATEMENT. Make anyone read it. Instead of "problems," use the phrase "new and exciting challenges." (As stupid as it sounds.) While I don't think good personal statements are that helpful in an application, I definitely think that negative/bad personal statements hurt applications.

Ok, that's enough for me. Do you have advice about grad school apps? Disagree? Let me know.

-Biochemist on the Run

An Introduction

Of course, I should get started by introducing myself/why I'm starting this blog.

I'm a female undergrad that's in her last semester of college at a PUI. I'm completing a major in biochemistry, and I'll be starting grad school for my PhD in biochem in Fall 2010. (Not sure where yet...I'll update more on that later.) When not in the lab, I enjoy running and talking endlessly to peers about my research.

When looking around the female science blogging community, I couldn't seem to find anyone who chronicled their experiences from applying and picking a grad school. It's also pretty challenging to find anyone who started blogging early in their grad student career. (Please, please correct me if I'm wrong. I would absolutely love to find other wee future grad students.) I have loved reading other female scientist's blogs, and felt that the advice and wisdom to be gained from these other bloggers was priceless. While I'm pretty sure I won't meet their standards, I figured that I might try and contribute.