An ode to coffee.

Dearest coffee,

I knew you in undergrad. We met on a regular basis up until my junior year, when I figured out that both loads of stress and caffeine triggered an irregular heartbeat.

But now, my dear beverage, we have met again.

This quarter was the true beginning of a real relationship---not like the fling we had in college. I consume at least one cup of coffee a day. And while before, I only really enjoyed my lattes and cappuchinos, I will have you any way possible. Coffee, espresso, ridiculously sugary drinks that contain you---anything for my daily fix.

My mood is less than cheerful if we do not meet in the morning. By the afternoon, I am craving a pick-me-up. You, my dear friend, have kept me going during my 7:30am-11:30 pm days (and my normal 12 hour days too). And perhaps due to the fact that I am in a constant state of stress rather than intervals, you have not brought my irregular heartbeat upon me again.

Thank you for everything. Now could you please not cost me as much as you do?

Love,
BotR

An Open Essay on Wombattiness.

Wombat: 1)(n) A small, furry marsupial, as seen here. 2) (n) A clueless undergrad or incoming grad student. Someone who has very little idea what is going on. Can also be used as an adjective to describe general incompetence.

It can be used in a sentences like these:

"Billy laughed at the new wombat in the lab who couldn't find the beakers."

"As she looked through a cabinet for the third time, BotR cursed the day that she had become a wombat."

"Dude, way to wombat it up by asking where we keep our FeCl3."

Can often be heard asking questions such as these*:
1. Where's the nearest bathroom?
2. Um, is this open?
3. Uh, is this on?
4. Can you say that again?
5. You guys store that in the -80, right?
6. Uh, how do I get into the building on weekends?
7. How does your autoclave work?
8. Any special instructions on the pH meter?
9. Do you guys grow your cultures in tubes like these?
10. Where is ________? (Fill in with any piece of equipment, reagent, location or wombat's mentor.)


Wombat syndrome can happen to competent people when moving into a new lab. However, this does mean that the competent person will be viewed as a wombat and spoken to in a gentle voice (by at least one person) so as to not spook the wombat**.

*These are all questions asked by me within the past two days. In my defense, the bathroom question was legit since I hadn't ever been in that building before.

**There's at least one person who thinks that I'm hopeless in my new lab. She's been very nice, so hopefully when I don't have to ask where everything is anymore she'll stop using a sugar sweet voice so as to not freak me out. In her defense, I'm pretty sure I run around with a crazy look on my face like "Omg, I will burst into tears if I can't find their filter flasks."