Dealing with a frustrating mentor.

Lots of work, lots of lab, lots of fellowship stuff.

Running has helped with stress. But apparently, not enough.

I flipped out at my mentor on Friday. Like screaming at him. Essentially, I'm tired of him never taking responsibility for *his* actions and pinning it on me. Usually, it's never anything big. But it was sort of a straw that broke the camel's back moment. I yelled that I wasn't his mother or secretary at the top of my lungs, added a few curse words, and left the room to cool down. The really bad part was that it was in front of a few lab mates.

Luckily for me, my lab mates thought that it was a) deserved and b) funny (I got a few high fives). So even if I exploded, they don't think I'm psycho. Unfortunately for me, Fred thought it was also funny. He explained later that it was funny because I'm not a particularly intimidating woman (5'3" and 125 lbs doesn't really cut it) and that it would have not been ok if I was "a tall, muscle bound man." I did apologize, because I NEVER yell at anyone. EVER. But I'm still so angry with him because he makes these sexist comments just to needle me because I do react. And to be honest, I know that he's trolling me and just thinks it's funny when I get upset.

But I can't stop getting upset. Of the things that irritate me, sexist/racist/homophobic/etc. comments win. (Then it's inefficiency. But that's another blog post and a half.) And even though I know he's doing it *just* to piss me off, I can't control my horror/disgust/anger.

The biggest problem is that I both like him and hate him at the same time. I know he's actually a pretty good guy at heart, but he can't stop the bulls**t and I can't stop getting pissy. And he has been a good mentor in general. (In fact, I may be getting onto another paper. And I will admit, that while 75% of that is my own hard work, probably a good 25% is because of the fact that he's been setting me up for projects that might work/have a payoff rapidly and then fighting for me to be on the paper.)

Anyone have advice other than the pretty obvious "stop reacting to his trolling"? I'm really losing it here.