Dear Labmates

I blame the current grant writing by our PI for some stress on the lab. But still, PLEASE STOP BLAMING THE REST OF US. If one more labmate tries to cause drama, I may go hide in the library and grade. Lord knows I have enough grading.

Thanksgiving cannot come soon enough. Almost 50% of my labmates are insane right now and we are all in the "we see each other for 12+ hours a day and you are driving me nuts" boat.

Hrumph.


I am tired.

Still here!

Dear blog/blogging friends,

I have not forgotten you.

However, I have been super busy. Bossman is....on a wee bit of a crazed boss cycle lately. I work loads. He scolds. I work more. He scolds. I am aware that this is directed at everyone in the lab.

Crazed Bossman is due to several things:
1. One of my labmates who has done AWESOME things got rejected from Science on a paper they'd been working on for months. Bossman really wants a Science paper.
2. Another labmate is now in the "running up against the departmental finishing time" zone. He is not ready to graduate. Bossman will not pay him after December but will not fire him. This is gonna be awkward.
3. We should hear back about the NIH grant for my project soon. We were right on the edge of "safe" with our score. This is making everyone nervous. (I will be fine on funding either way, but yeah, totally have already spent the pretty pretty money in my head.)
4. My mentor/the only other grad student on my project is supposed to graduate soon (aka by March)/is looking for jobs. She is fantastic, and he is cranky that I am not as fantastic.
5. The other second year has pretty much stopped working. Bossman has only barely given him crap.


I have also just recently obtained an undergrad!!! She is awesome. And is one of my former students that I really wanted. And it is so much fun/work having her.

I have three large projects. And yeah, they are eating away at me. We desperately need another grad student on my project. We will probably get at least two grad students---neither on my project.

I have been busy. And stressed. And I haven't been able to run recently due to injury/laziness/how damn tired I am in the morning and evening.

I am in lab trying to sort through papers that will get me least yelled at for when I give a short lit talk for group meeting.

Still loving the lab, the research, and even Bossman (despite his crazed tendencies), but I need a breather that I will not get for awhile.

And damn, do I want to be able to get a paper soon.

And I miss my friends and profs from undergrad. I miss Lab Mom tons. My personal life has been awesome, but yeah, nostalgia hit hard recently.

So yeah, please excuse me for the lack of posts recently. I'm busy pre-panicking about quals this winter.

Love,
BotR

Grief: Ten Years Later.

This has been a post that I've been thinking about all week. I listen to a lot of NPR, and they've had a fair amount of people sharing their stories about 9/11. I decided that I would share my story.

On Sept. 11, 2001, I was in middle school. My mom woke me up that morning with tears on her face. I will never forget it: my mom, who is one of the people best equipped to explain tragedies, could not explain why she was crying to me. She just told me to come out to the living room. I was convinced that one of my grandparents had passed away. My father was in there, watching the TV with a look of complete shock and horror. He grew up in NYC. My sister and I sat there in a stunned, teary silence while my mother was whispering prayers and shocked comments.

I don't remember how I got to school that day. As we have family in NY, I was petrified that they were hurt or killed, despite my mother's reassurances that they were far away from the Twin Towers and wouldn't have been in that area. I remember not being able to speak to my friends and teachers. The school was chaos---we only listened to the radio for more news on the horrible events that were quickly unfolding. Everyone quickly learned that the drama teacher's husband was supposed to be flying that day and we all heard whispers that she'd freaked out and gone home until she received a call from him. (She did. He came home a few days late, but we were all glad to hear that he was fine.) I got home that day and we received a call from my aunt and uncle.

My uncle's brother was part of NYFD. He'd had a stroke a few years earlier so he was no longer on duty, but we all knew how he went to funeral after funeral---unable to speak about the men that he had known so well. Ever since that day, he's struggled with depression.


I will always remember that day. One memory that continued to follow me that day was when I visited the Twin Towers approximately 4 years earlier was how my sister and I were looking out of the windows, counting the taxis that looked like little yellow bugs. I have a fear of heights, and I kept scooting back against the wall after finishing counting taxis. I kept wondering what I would have done if I was in one of those towers.

I am not a religious person, but I am taking this day to remember. My heart goes out to all of the families affected by this tragedy: ones who lost families and families who have dealt with the blatant racism that arose from this tragedy. The families that lost members due to the war. To each and every person affected by this tragedy.

We remember.

Blog roll is finally up!

Hi all!

Since there are only a few other grad student/prof blogs that I read, I've put them on the sidebar here. Please email me if you'd like to be included.


Also, I should not be here for what is my 3rd 14+ hour day in a row. Soooooo tired. I'm so tired I'm not even hungry anymore. Yikes!

-BotR

Publication the second!

Hooray! Lab Mom emailed a paper out today that has me in a prime position. Very, very small journal. But still! My undergrad thesis is *almost all published.* And according to Lab Mom, she's still trying to publish more of my thesis/undergrad work.

And it gave me an excuse to give Lab Mom a call. :)

Now I have two publications! One high impact journal where I'm in the middle of the author list (from my summer rotation here) and one low impact journal where I'm second (after Lab Mom). Perhaps I should try and apply for NSF GRFP again? I got pretty good marks last time, and my project proposal would be even better this time since I actually have had a decent amount of time to think about it (also, a lot more people care about my project as compared to the other project---the broader impacts are definitely not so hand wavy as before).

Hrmm....

August updates.

For whatever reason, I've been stupidly busy.

My two projects have now expanded into three projects. My bench is a mess. In order to remember all of the things that I have to do every day, I have detailed EVERYTHING in my planner (even stuff like "autoclave more LB"). The pile of plates in my personal mini incubator has grown to a ridiculous level. My desk is piled with papers that I have yet to read. And my monthly goals list that I keep posted above my desk never seems to get shorter, despite the number of things I cross off.

I guess this is what it's like when your project is kind of sort of working?

My hours lately have been...well, for me, I think it's kind of brutal. I get in at 7 and if I'm really lucky, leave at 7:30. Usually I'm not lucky. Usually I'm in here until at least 8:30. More like 9:30.

But you know what? I'm still enjoying it. I definitely get tired. And cranky. And hungry (like I am RIGHT NOW). My (main) project is still really cool. And I am very, very excited to potentially get an undergrad in about a month! (Bossman still has to do the final interview.)

And I get to go home for Fri-Sun! Three straight days without lab? I'll take it. :)

Bravery.

I have been following Gabrielle Giffords's recovery closely, and this was an amazing/touching story.

Welcome back, Gabby.

Someday, I will write a good post again...

but until then, Feminist Nerd Win!

Also, a happy birthday to Lab Soulmate!

Summer is too busy.

Ummm, yeah. Haven't posted in awhile because...

my project is vaguely sorta working!!!

Also, I had a week long vacation. It was awesome. And then I moved. And then my parents came and visited.

Things are good: busy, but good. There's been some lab drama (a second year quit) but past that, not much.

How's everyone else's summer?

FINISHED. 1 year down...

4 more to go? 4.5? (Please no more than 5???)

I am so tired. But I can FINALLY start reading all the papers I've set aside for classwork/TAing. And FINALLY at least have enough time to sit down and try and synthesize some sort of research plan. And FINALLY troubleshoot some of the various things that have gone wrong. I've been doing just lameo preliminary handwavy solutions to fix this particular problem. Unsurprisingly, doing this has not completely fixed my current problem.

But done! Now no one mention quals until the summer's over.

Teaching portfolio.

Last Wednesday was my last class of GSU's "Teaching Wombats" seminar series. While not super useful, the prof was very nice and the only real work was showing up every week. Not a big deal.

However, as a closing note, the prof mentioned to us that now is a good time to start making a teaching portfolio. (GSU has all of the first year chem grad students finish their teaching requirements within the first two years, unless you're asked to TA a grad level course.) Teaching portfolio!?! Crap. I don't even know what that really means.

After a quick google search, Berkeley's career center comes up with one of the best descriptions. Of course, I now wish I'd had the prof I'm teaching for come in during my discussion section. Luckily, the prof who taught the seminar course did come in to see me teach. Hopefully she liked what she saw? We have a meeting later next week, so I'll find out more about this teaching portfolio deal. She said that we should save things like emails from students that thank us. Really? Is that actually a legit thing to put in a teaching portfolio?

Any suggestions out there for what to put in a teaching portfolio? What not to put in a teaching portfolio?

Just keep swimming...

In times like these, two different child-oriented stories always come to me:

"Just keep swimming!"-Finding Nemo
"I think I can I think I can I think I can..."- The Little Engine That Could


Oh goodness. On Wednesday, I will be completely done with my first year of grad school. Yay!!!!!! I am proctoring one final on Monday and taking two finals on Tuesday. I will be done with grading by Wednesday if it kills me.

But oh, the lack of sleep for the past two weeks. When it rains, it pours!

Awkward sauce.

Um, so Friday was fun. Golden Boy gave a beauuuuuutiful thesis defense. Man, do I hope I kick ass like that hopefully 4 years from now. And then we had a party.

I had a lovely time. This was the boyfriend's first official lab event, so it was nice that he's gotten to meet the coworkers. And celebrating instead of working is awesome. :)

But...so Bossman got tipsy and then proceeded to tell me to not get preggo because then I "wouldn't be able to spend more time in the lab." AWKWARD. First of all, I'm not discussing my reproductive choices with you. Second of all, this is a party. Lay off the lectures. I'm absolutely sure this was a bad joke that went worse (Bossman tends to have those moments), but please---no. This is not something I'm comfortable discussing with my boss.

I reacted as any person who is deeply uncomfortable would: I told him to quit staring at me. He continued on, realized it was inappropriate and he should shut up, and started making fun of me for something else (thank goodness).

But man, AWKWARD. I'm still grumpy over the inappropriate nature of the comment/setting.

When Bossman's not happy...

...everybody's unhappy.

Grumpy Monday around here today. Bossman's mood defines the mood of the lab usually. Today was not a cheerful Monday. Pretty much everyone got the "you're not working hard enough/thinking enough about your project" speech today. I think he's upset because Golden Boy's defending on Friday and he probably didn't get enough sleep.

Oh well. Tomorrow's a better day?

Uh oh...more weekend lab time?

Was in lab both days this weekend. Saw Bossman both days. Guess the three kiddos aren't keeping him home as much anymore?

Nooooooooooooooooooo


Curses, I thought this whole "I get in before the Bossman" and "I leave after the Bossman" thing was good enough.

I think the real problem is that he lives within walking distance of the lab.

Lab injuries.

To be honest, many other chemists do far more dangerous work than I do. As a bioinorganic chemist, the biggest constant safety issue that I work with is a Schlenk line that is too big for a hood. But yesterday was a good reminder of how dangerous a lot of the materials my lab works with.

Luckily, in this particular incident, everyone's ok. Let me start out with that. One of my labmates accidentally dropped a beaker into a base bath, which caused the base bath to splash onto her face (she was wearing goggles, thank goodness). Unfortunately, her first reaction was to swipe at her face with the gloves that had base bath on them, so even though a second or two after that when she shoved her face under water, she managed to burn herself. Luckily, nothing got in her eyes and I had my car with me yesterday, so I drove her to the ER. The ER staff was as slow as molasses, despite a call from the chem dept that we were coming and that it was a potentially time-sensitive issue. They didn't do much other than have her take a shower/stuck pH paper all over her face, and eventually let her go with a prescription for a painkiller/steroid. She's a little shaken, but it mostly looks like she got an odd sunburn and there won't be any lasting effects.

We had a really bad acid burn for a different labmate earlier this year (before I joined), but both situations were caused by accidents and compounded by instinct. It's just a frightening reminder that despite proper safety gear/training, our instincts as humans take over first before our safety training kicks in.

A year ago, I graduated. WHAT

Congrats to all the graduating seniors. I wish each and every one of you the best of luck.

Your first year out of college is incredibly crazy. You really, really comprehend how little money and time you have. How much you miss the friends from school. But you'll make new friends, and you'll deal with the money and time issues. And slowly, but surely, things will start to fall into place.

Here's advice from someone who was in your shoes a year ago: You will figure out everything. As the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy states, don't panic.

Congrats to the class of 2011!

Reminder: I am still alive. Hooray!

I haven't posted in a really long time. Sorry. Life gets busy!

Since I last posted: my parents have visited, I ran my second half marathon with my dad, I've graded a midterm and written/graded two quizzes, turned in a bunch of hw, had a midterm and spent a ton of time with my labwork.

I am really, really looking forward to summer. CLASSES WILL BE DONE. NO TA-ING!

I still like TAing. As compared to 75% of the other people who came in wanting to be a teacher, I've retained the "man I wish I had more time to devote to EVERYTHING" spirit. Despite the fact that the weather is too nice for most of my students to show up for section, I love talking to my students. But man, trying to remember 115 student names---impossible. I've settled for remembering the students who actually show up to my discussion.

I wish I had more time to devote to lab, but meh. Classes will be done (forever? Unless someone makes me take more?) and I'll have two more quarters of TAing. And glorious summer is only a little over a month away.

And then I get to go on VACATION for a full WEEK. yayyyyyyyy

You know you have a rockin' boss when

you present him with data showing that a major part of your plan doesn't work and he makes you laugh, tells you to try again because it probably didn't work for a different reason, and proceeds to tell you that your idea was a good one.

Happy birthday, bossman!

It's not grad school unless

you're in the lab crying because you just wasted 2.5 weeks barking up the wrong tree at 11pm on a Friday night.