Things I have learned.

1. If you are sick, please, please please do not come into lab. Everyone else will refuse to stand within a 10 foot radius of you. Except, of course, your rotation student who is forced to spend lots of time breathing in your germs.

2. If you are trying to help said rotation student with an upcoming presentation, do not get her sick.

3. Denial (and orange juice, sleep, and lots of tea) can help keep the germs at bay.

4. However, denial can only prevent the full blown cold. You'll still feel vaguely sick. And it still sucks. And the full blown cold is bound to hit at any moment.

Moral of the story: Don't spread your cold. Health first, work later (or just work on whatever stuff you can at home).

Updates are coming, I promise...

So as seen by my last post (and many others before that), this whole grad school transition has had a great deal of ups and downs.

My freakout was no doubt inspired by the news that I'll either be giving group meeting this week or next week (my PI might be out of town this week, so it'll probably be next week). My mentor Fred (who I've been shadowing most of the time), who has been a great mentor so far, sorta shoved me under the bus without warning.

Granted, I do have stuff to present. It's mostly Fred's work that I've done or helped with, along with a side of the work I've done for Hailey (grad student mentor who I've done about 25% of my work with). And I knew I'd have to do one by the end of my rotation. But my rotation isn't over for at least 4 more weeks.

After hearing this, I ended up asking Fred about the whole "you're presenting" bit. Yeah, we've collected a lot of data---so why would he want me to take some credit for it rather than presenting it himself? (And obviously, while I would be thanking him in my credits a great deal, the perception is different than if he was presenting it by himself.) Essentially, he told me that I'm the best person he's ever trained, so he thinks he'll look even better to the boss if I do a rockin' presentation. And I'll look good if I do a rockin' presentation. Later that day, the boss found me and told me that she's heard "lots of good things about [me]."

So I clearly should do a rockin' presentation. Good thing I love talking about research?

Lab homesickness.

So I'm in lab still. Rapidly approaching another 13 hour day (f****** protein purification days).

And a terrible case of lab homesickness has swept over me.

I miss undergrad. I miss my lab. I miss my Lab Mom. I miss my friends. I even miss the model organism that I used to work with.

And most of all, I miss being independent.

My grad student mentor has been sick for the past two days, so I've been by myself/working with my other grad student mentor. But the terrible thing is that while I've really enjoyed the "freedom," I hate that this isn't my project, so when I screw stuff up, I feel like a terrible human being. These aren't my materials/time to waste, this is his protein and his time, even when he's not here.

I feel like I wasn't really meant to get here. There was clearly some sort of mistake.

I'm now convinced that I'm going to try my damndest, but that I won't be able to do it. I won't get my PhD, I won't get a good postdoc, and I'll never be able to teach.

I admit it---the fact that the chances of me ever getting a tenured position are so slim gives me this bleak outlook. And it breaks my heart. I really want a position where I can have my own lab/teach. My happiest daydreams are when I'm thinking about what I want to study in *my* lab someday.

I'm just so terrified for the moment where someone discovers that my effort/passion for the field doesn't measure up to my talent. And it's bound to happen sometime soon.

Oh so this is grad school...

Just got back from 13 hours of protein purification + all of my other experiments. With no lunch break except to shove my sandwich into my mouth and run.

And my weeks have been about 10-11 hour days.

Still enjoying it, even though the transition from lazy college graduate bum to hard working rotation student has been exhausting.

Tired. Bed nowwwww. Or as one of my roommates put it, "Good thing you don't have a life."

An Open Essay on Wombattiness.

Wombat: 1)(n) A small, furry marsupial, as seen here. 2) (n) A clueless undergrad or incoming grad student. Someone who has very little idea what is going on. Can also be used as an adjective to describe general incompetence.

It can be used in a sentences like these:

"Billy laughed at the new wombat in the lab who couldn't find the beakers."

"As she looked through a cabinet for the third time, BotR cursed the day that she had become a wombat."

"Dude, way to wombat it up by asking where we keep our FeCl3."

Can often be heard asking questions such as these*:
1. Where's the nearest bathroom?
2. Um, is this open?
3. Uh, is this on?
4. Can you say that again?
5. You guys store that in the -80, right?
6. Uh, how do I get into the building on weekends?
7. How does your autoclave work?
8. Any special instructions on the pH meter?
9. Do you guys grow your cultures in tubes like these?
10. Where is ________? (Fill in with any piece of equipment, reagent, location or wombat's mentor.)


Wombat syndrome can happen to competent people when moving into a new lab. However, this does mean that the competent person will be viewed as a wombat and spoken to in a gentle voice (by at least one person) so as to not spook the wombat**.

*These are all questions asked by me within the past two days. In my defense, the bathroom question was legit since I hadn't ever been in that building before.

**There's at least one person who thinks that I'm hopeless in my new lab. She's been very nice, so hopefully when I don't have to ask where everything is anymore she'll stop using a sugar sweet voice so as to not freak me out. In her defense, I'm pretty sure I run around with a crazy look on my face like "Omg, I will burst into tears if I can't find their filter flasks."

Posts to come.

I am tired, therefore I will be lazy with my post tonight and just tell you what exciting bits I have planned for the next few weeks:

1. I want to discuss more about LGBT issues in a scientific workplace. This will require lots of people to give me input. I'm editing some questions right now, and I hope that you all + even more people will help me with more answers.

2. I've been getting lots of questions in my non-blogging life from friends that are about to enter the sphere of grad school apps. Therefore, I have decided to essentially start a short series on the advice that I have given/stuff people are about to ask. PLEASE SEND IN QUESTIONS to help me design this series!!!

3. The book reviews that I have half typed up will be up soon. I promise.

Send in questions/topics by either commenting/emailing me at biochemistontherun@gmail.com !

LGBT scientists, where are you???

Ok, so as you probably all have assumed, I'm a white, straight female. So any comments I make in this area are just from personal experiences.

Is there a particular reason that I haven't met a great deal of LGBT science folks? Out of all the science people I've met over the years, I can safely say that I've only met about 10 sciencey people who are open. And out of those 10 people, I can safely say that they have all been really, really good at the science that they're interested in.

First, let's start off with a big fat "duh" factor: Obviously, every single category of person out there can do science.

But here's my question: Why have I met so few scientists who are out? I've met lots of people who are out over the years, but it's been rare that they've been in science, math, or engineering. I've met tons of gender studies, philosophy, art, theater, history, English, etc. majors.

Therefore, I've come to several different conclusions:
1. LGBT scientists are less likely to be open due to science culture itself.
2. Science culture is not a LGBT friendly environment.
3. All of us as scientists should do something.

But what? I have always respected people's privacy about their own lives, whether they are single and straight or married and gay. How can I voice my support without being accidentally condescending or treating people differently for their orientation? How can I change the system without being so passive of an ally?

I suppose I'll just go on treating everyone with respect and dignity, and hope that over time, everyone will do the same. But that feels a little naive. And hopefully this is just my narrow experience, and that it's a problem that I'm making up in my own head.

Ideas are appreciated.

Falling into a routine.

I am a huge fan of routines. I like having a vague schedule to adhere to, but it takes me a lot of time to create the schedule, so my best bet is to add a few things at a time.

I'm now trying to add exercise back into my routine. I love running (hence the pen name), but I have a heart problem (nothing serious) that makes shifting back into running after a long time of inconsistent exercise difficult. Bah. Roommate and I went for a run yesterday, and we only went two miles due to a big hill + my heart problem.

I hate slowly shifting back into exercise. I want to go back to running 6 miles again now!

I'll be posting more book reviews in a few days. Sorry about being such a slackerface about writing those up!